YeastEnders – Episode Nineteen
Image Description: An overhead view of a fictional baked-goods town called Walnutford, designed in the style of a map. A glossy custard river runs horizontally from left to right across the centre of the image, gently curving as it flows. On either side of the river is a bustling town made entirely of baked treats. You can see pies with lattice and star tops, croissants, bread rolls, loaves, tarts, and pastry parcels, all arranged like buildings on a map. Whipped cream puffs and green fondant leaves appear like trees and parks. The ground looks like it’s dusted with fine flour or biscuit crumbs. At the top centre, large white text reads “YeastEnders”, with “Walnutford” in smaller letters below. The entire scene is warm, golden, and surreal – a deliciously baked parody of the EastEnders opening titles.
YeastEnders – Episode Nineteen: Crumbs in the Custard
It was just past dawn when Fatbread wheeled a mysterious crate into the Queen Victoria Sponge.
“Careful!” hissed Peggy Cherry Bakewell. “I’ve just mopped that floor!”
“It’s not what’s under the crate you need to worry about,” said Fatbread. “It’s what’s in it.”
Grant the Spotted Dick gave it a nudge. It didn’t budge. “Feels like a fruitcake in full denial.”
Fatbread reached into his apron and pulled out a metal spatula, pressing it against a hidden latch. With a soft hiss, the crate unfolded, revealing… decks. Massive bakery-modified turntables, fitted with rolling pins, jam dials and a croissant-slicer fader.
“Ladies and gents,” Fatbread announced, “meet the Crust Control 3000. If we’re going to get to the bottom of the Buttered Bunch’s jam-storm, we need soundwaves.”
Peggy blinked. “You built a DJ rig… for interrogation?”
“It’s not just a DJ rig,” he grinned. “It’s a memory stirrer. Hit the right frequencies and it jogs even the most jam-locked minds.”
“Bonkers,” muttered Phil the Pudding. “I like it.”
Down in the bakery’s secret cellar, Dot Crumble was pouring over her crumb-stained ledger.
“Someone’s been messing with the archives,” she muttered. “My list of loyal buns — half of them have gone stale. And Sticky Nick’s name is back in ink.”
Upstairs, Roxy stared at the decks.
“This is mad,” she whispered.
“Everything here is,” said Grant. “But it’s home.”
Outside, behind the butter churns, Sticky Nick watched the pub. He was chewing on a sugared matchstick, eyes darting.
“She’s getting too close,” he muttered. “Dotty, we need to act.”
Dotty Doughnut appeared from behind a stack of profiteroles. “What are you going to do, Dad?”
Nick narrowed his eyes. “We shake the sponge to its cherry core.”
Just then, a shadow moved at the far end of the Square.
Dot Crumble emerged, eyes locked on the skyline. “Something’s wrong,” she whispered.
Back inside, Fatbread spun a pastry-laced beat. Lights flickered. The floors trembled.
A single word echoed from the speakers: “…Raisin…”
Peggy’s mouth dropped. “Who said that?!”
“I didn’t press that!” Fatbread yelled.
Then came a crash — a brick through the window. Jam smeared across the wall.
A note stuck in the mess.
Phil pulled it free and read aloud:
“You’ve stirred the batter too far. See you at sunrise. — The Buttered Bunch”
Roxy’s hands were shaking.
Dot Crumble looked up from the jam. “They never warned before.”
Grant growled. “So what happens at sunrise?”
Fatbread checked his decks. “We find out who’s got crumbs in the custard.”
duff duff duff duff duff duff duff duff…
Image Description: An overhead view of a fictional baked-goods town called Walnutford, designed in the style of a map. A glossy custard river runs horizontally from left to right across the centre of the image, gently curving as it flows. On either side of the river is a bustling town made entirely of baked treats. You can see pies with lattice and star tops, croissants, bread rolls, loaves, tarts, and pastry parcels, all arranged like buildings on a map. Whipped cream puffs and green fondant leaves appear like trees and parks. The ground looks like it’s dusted with fine flour or biscuit crumbs. At the top centre, large white text reads “YeastEnders”, with “Walnutford” in smaller letters below. The entire scene is warm, golden, and surreal – a deliciously baked parody of the EastEnders opening titles.
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Blind Man Makes 